I’m a Christian… But…

I hear it all the time—"I'm a Christian, but..." and what follows is usually a contradiction.

"I'm a Christian, but I don’t support them."
"I'm a Christian, but I refuse to show grace to those people."
"I'm a Christian, but I think this part of the Bible matters more than that part."

Somewhere along the way, the true essence of Christianity has been lost in a storm of selective belief, personal biases, and self-righteousness disguised as faith. Christianity, at its core, is not about exclusion. It is not about picking and choosing who is worthy of love, kindness, or mercy. It is not about cherry-picking scripture to validate personal prejudices while conveniently ignoring the foundational message of Jesus—love.

Jesus didn’t say, “Love your neighbor… unless they sin differently than you.” He didn’t say, “Show mercy… unless you disagree with them.” And he certainly didn’t say, “Follow me… but only when it’s convenient or aligns with your personal opinions.” Jesus ate with sinners, welcomed the outcasts, defended the broken, and challenged the self-righteous. Yet today, many who claim to follow Him do the exact opposite.

Far too often, Christianity is wielded as a weapon instead of lived as an example. People use scripture to condemn but not to comfort. They focus on judgment rather than grace. They act as though they were appointed gatekeepers of Heaven rather than called to reflect the love, acceptance, and mercy of Christ. The moment a person says, “I’m a Christian, but…” and follows it with a statement of hate, exclusion, or superiority, they reveal that their faith is conditional. And conditional faith is not Christ-like faith.

This is not to say that Christians should ignore sin. But we must remember that it is not our job to determine who is beyond saving, who is worthy of grace, or who deserves love. That is God’s job. Our job is to live in a way that reflects His heart, and His heart is one of compassion, forgiveness, and mercy.

Yet, so many "Christians" today weaponize their faith to control, divide, and belittle. They forget that Jesus never stood on a pedestal looking down at sinners. He walked among them. He loved them first and let that love transform their lives. When the woman was caught in adultery and thrown before Him, what did He say? "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." And when they all walked away, ashamed of their own imperfections, Jesus turned to her and said, "Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."

Notice that? He led with mercy, not condemnation. Love, not hate. Yet, so many who claim to follow Him today act more like the Pharisees who wanted to stone her than like Jesus who wanted to redeem her.

A major problem today is that many people pick and choose which parts of Christianity they want to follow. They preach about certain sins while ignoring their own. They use the Bible to call out others but fail to apply it to themselves. True Christianity is not a buffet where you take what you like and leave the rest. You cannot claim to follow Jesus while actively ignoring the very foundation of His teachings.

You cannot claim to be a Christian and refuse to love your neighbor. Loving others is not optional—it is the very command Jesus gave as the greatest of all commandments. Love does not mean agreement with every action or belief, but it does mean treating people with kindness, respect, and dignity, regardless of who they are.

You cannot claim to be a Christian and turn your back on the poor, the hurting, and the outcast. Jesus spent His life among the broken, the sinners, the tax collectors, and the sick. He showed compassion to the ones society rejected. Yet, many today who call themselves Christians avoid helping the needy or speak harshly about those struggling, forgetting that Jesus Himself said, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me" (Matthew 25:40).

You cannot claim to be a Christian and spew hatred under the guise of "truth." Many people justify their cruelty by saying they are "speaking the truth," but truth without love is not truth at all. Jesus spoke truth, but He did so with gentleness, patience, and grace. If your truth is causing harm, rejection, or pain, then it is not coming from a place of Christ-like love—it is coming from self-righteousness.

If your version of Christianity gives you permission to treat others with cruelty, then you are not following Christ—you are following your own ego.

The Bible makes it abundantly clear what a true Christian looks like. It’s not about how loudly you condemn others. It’s not about how many Bible verses you memorize. It’s not about how "righteous" you appear. It’s about love.

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." – John 13:35

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal." – 1 Corinthians 13:1

"Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen." – 1 John 4:20

A true Christian is all-loving, all-accepting, and merciful—not because they ignore sin, but because they recognize that it is not their job to play God. That job belongs to Him alone.

Being a Christian is more than just claiming a title. It’s more than just attending church or reading scripture. Being a Christian means living a life that reflects Christ in everything you do. It means choosing love over judgment, grace over condemnation, and compassion over cruelty. It means leading with kindness, lifting others up instead of tearing them down, and striving to embody the patience and mercy that Jesus modeled.

Christianity is not about perfection, but about humility. It’s about acknowledging our own flaws and extending the same grace to others that God extends to us. It’s about serving rather than ruling, listening rather than preaching, and embracing rather than rejecting.

If we claim to be Christians, we should be the first to offer kindness, the first to extend a helping hand, and the first to love without conditions. If we claim to follow Jesus, then our lives should mirror His—not the version of Him that fits our personal opinions, but the real Jesus, who ate with sinners, healed the broken, and loved unconditionally.

So the next time you hear someone say, “I’m a Christian, but…” ask yourself—what comes after the “but”? If it’s filled with exclusion, hatred, or self-righteousness, then it’s not Christ they’re following. It’s their own twisted version of Him.

If you claim to be a Christian, your faith should be reflected in how you treat others, not just in the verses you quote. If your Christianity requires you to look down on others, exclude them, or decide who is or isn’t worthy, then it might be time to step back and ask yourself—are you really following Christ, or just following your own version of Him?